Twilight TruthOrDare
by Faith-Hope-Love-Joy
Summary: Actually it's really just dare, but you can do truths too! Includes Olympic Coven and Jake and Seth! CRAZY DARES!
1. Chapter 1

WELCOME TO

WELCOME TO . . . .

TWILIGHT DARE!!

Who are our players tonight??

Bella, Edward, Jacob, Seth, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Renesmee, and I (Hope) am your host!

Background info: I am a 479-year-old vampire, who has a mate named Nick (Human). I hang out with this other crazy vampire (who I taught not to drink humans, therefore obviously I don't myself) named Beatrice, and her mate, a young vampire named Joe.

In this Truth-or-Dare, Bella has been a vampire for nine years, and Renesmee is fifteen.

Me: NOW FOR THE DISCLAIMER!! waves hand around and banner appears in the air

I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS OR PLACES IN THIS STORY!! Except Hope.

And most of you here know the drill, I think! Just comment on which dares you want, and the PUNISHMENTS!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! laughs evilly

Edward: Gulp

Bella: Uh . . . Edward? What is she thinking?  
Edward: Uh . . . well, if you must know, if we don't do the dares, she's going to make us do a punishment. So it's—

Emmett: YOU MEAN WE DON'T HAVE A CHOICE?? WE HAVE TO BE HERE??

Me: You bet!

Emmett: OR WHAT??  
Me: (pleasantly) Or my assistants waves hand and Jake, Beatrice and Joe appear will rip you to shreds.

Emmett: I'd like to see them TRY!

Jake: scared

Me: Don't even think about touching Jake, he's only here for the show. But go ahead and try to get Beatrice or Joe.

Joe: YEAH BRING IT ON, ROCK-BRAIN!

Beatrice: Ssssssssure . . . .

Emmett: lunges at Beatrice

big cloud of dust, random exclaimations

HEY! OW! LEGGO! GET OFF OF ME YOU—OUCH! WHAT ARE YOU—HEY! LET GO OF HER! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEOUCH!

Everyone: . . . .

Cloud of dust clears, Beatrice sitting on Emmett, pinning him

Joe/Beatrice together: Easy.

Emmett: Pant pant.

Me: Emmett, sit back down. NOW WE SHALL BEGIN OUR TRUTH OR DARE!!

Beatrice: Who shall we start with evil grin

Alice: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Everyone looks at Alice

Alice: Poor, poor Rosalie . . .

Rose: HA! What can THEY do to ME??

Joe: Rubs hands together Can I do it, Hope?

Me: NO.

Beatrice: Of course you can Joe. Glares at me

Me: You spoil him

Beatrice: And proud of it!

Jasper: Stage whisper She's crazy!

Emmett: Which one?

Jasper: Both, I think . . .

Me: Yes we are. Now that we're past the obvious . . . ROSE! COME ON UP!

Rose: Gulp Okay . . .

Joe: Okay. I dare you to . . . go up to Jake and kiss him on the cheek!

Rose/Jake: WHAT??

Rose: DO I HAVE TO??

Jake: DOES SHE HAVE TO??

Joe: Well, if you REALLY don't want to, you can always do the punishment . . .

Rose: Which is what?

Joe: Um . . . Go up to Seth and kiss him on the LIPS!

Seth: GROSS! I DON'T WANT TO KISS HER! No offense, Rose.

Rose: None taken, MUTT!

Seth: HEY!

Me: OKAY! Just . . . what are you going to do, Rose?

Rose: Urgh! FINE! stalks up to Seth and quickly kisses him.

Seth: BLECH!! drinks a gallon of water

Rose: BLECH!! drinks a moose

Seth: DOUBLE BLECH!

Me: That's it for the first dare! Leave comments with your name, "coven" or whether you're a nomad, and dare and punishment! Thank you all!

Nick: That was highly disturbing.

Me: What?

Nick: Watching the second most beautiful person I've EVER SEEN killing a moose and drinking its' blood.

Me: Oh shut up. You watch the first most beautiful person you've ever seen kill mountain lions every day!

Nick: But I'm used to that.

Me: Whatever. SEE YOU NEXT TIME ON TWILIGHT: DARE!!


	2. Chapter 2

WELCOME BACK TO

**WELCOME BACK TO . . . TWILIGHT DARE!!**

**I'm you're host, HOPE!!**

**And before we begin today, there are some things to be covered: FIRST OFF, THE DISCLAIMER!! waves hand**

**I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS EXCEPT HOPE!!**

**And second: whoops. Hold on. **Okay! AND SECOND! I want to say for any confusion about Jake/Jacob, I got Jake confused with Nick, because JAKE (not Jacob) is my ex-boyfriend. So sorry about that.

ANYWAY!

Just to review, out players ARE: The Olympic Coven, (Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Bella, Renesmee, and Edward) and Jacob and Seth, of the Werewolves. Just to review, it's been nine years since Bella became a vampire, and Renesmee is now fifteen.

Me: LETS GET JIGGY!!

Rosalie: I'm scared.

Joe: Still remembering your LAST dare, eh, Rose? grins evilly

Beatrice: Hahahahahahahaha! Oh . . . . that was good.

Me: Sooo . . . anyway. OUR FIRST DARE COMES FROM A MEMBER OF FANFICTION—

Emmett: What the heck is _FanFiction_?

Me: It is the powerful organization that is . . . um . . . the REASON YOU ARE HERE TODAY!

Emmett: Oh. In that case I hate FanFiction.

Me: Oh please. You haven't even had a dare yet!

Edward: Poor Emmett.

Emmett: WHAT??

Edward: She's thinking . . .

Emmett: Oh boy.

Jasper: Leave me something good!

Me: CAN WE JUST GET BACK TO THE DARES??

Everyone: Okay . . .

Me: THANK you. So this comes from mandihale. She says the dare is: Edward kisses Alice. No punishment included—

Edward: YESSSSSSS!

Hope: SO we'll make one up!

Edward: NOOOOOOOO!

Bella: NOOOOOOO!

Alice: Why are you 'noooooo-ing'? I'm the one who has to kiss my stupid brother!

Bella: WHAT THE—YOU CAN'T CALL MY HUSBAND STUPID! HE'S VERY SMART AND MUSICALLY TALENTED AND-- blushes I've, uh, said too much.

Me: Eeeee-yeah . . . so, the punishment for this is . . .

Beatrice: You should make him rip Bella into little shreds!

Me: YEAH! Thanks, Bea.

Beatrice: No prob. I LOVE inflicting internal pain.

Edward: moans

Alice: Ick.

Edward: It has to be kissing Alice.

Alice: EW!

Bella: Edward! I don't mind being ripped to shreds, really!  
Edward: I still love you: Remember that! ALWAYS! kisses Bella

Alice: JUST GET ON WITH IT!

Edward: Fine. kisses Alice

Bella: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO faints

Me: I didn't know vampires could faint . . . ?

Edward: rushes to Bella and revives he easily, with a kiss

Me: OKAY! Up next, dare from: Jonathan, head of a coven in Chicago. Unfortunately not vegetarians, but his dare is: A PIE-EATING CONTEST!!

Carlisle: I think I'm going to be sick. I HATE HUMAN FOOD!

Renesmee: YESSSSSSS! I'M SO GOING TO WIN!!

Emmett: covers eyes Dare I ask what the punishment is?

Me: That's my favorite part! Having to switch clothes with a werewolf of the same gender! But the Werewolves don't compete.

Jake: YESSSSSSSSS! Even though I'd totally DOMINATE! I jus had lunch—oh wait. Now I'm hungry again.

Alice: Well, what if I don't want to? Leah's not here! BURN!

Me: That's not a problem! snaps fingers, Leah appears

Leah: What the—why am I with all these bloodsuckers!

Alice: Darn.

Me: Who's in, and who's OUT?

Everyone: Um . . .

Carlisle: Having to smell like a werewolf for the rest of the day vs. having to eat a bunch disgusting human pies?

Esme: I'm in for pie-eating.

Alice: Um . . . pie-eating here too.

Edward: I think . . .

Jacob: OH PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME WEAR YOUR CLOTHES!!

Edward: Ooooookaaaayyyy . . . . pie eating then.

Renesmee: Pie eating here too!

Jacob: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GO NESSIE!!

Bella: snarls I guess I'm for pie eating as well.

Carlisle: I'm for the punishment.

Jacob: WHAT??

Carlisle: Sorry, Jacob.

Seth: WHAT ABOUT ME?? Maybe I'm Carlisle's size.

Jacob: YOU WANT TO SMELL LIKE A BLOODSUCKER?? No offense.

Carlisle: None taken.

Seth: No, I'm just saying, if you really don't want to . . .

Jake: No, I'm okay. Thanks.

Carlisle and Jacob change clothes in the bushes

Jasper: Uh . . . I'll change clothes too. Changes with Seth.

Emmett: AH HAHAHAHA loser! Pie eating!

Rose: Can I choose the third option?

Me: Which is?

Rose: Nothing?

Me: NO.

Rose: DARN! Fine, pie-eating!

NEXT TIME . . . THE PIE-EATING!


	3. Chapter 3

WELCOME BACK TO TWILIGHT DARE, CHAPTER THREE

**WELCOME BACK TO TWILIGHT DARE, CHAPTER THREE!**

I'm your host Hope, with my psycho friend Beatrice—

Beatrice: HEY!

Me: Just joking . . . and her boyfriend Joe.

Joe: I beat Emmett!

Emmett: It was two against one!

Joe: Details, details.

Me: And my boyfriend, NICK!

cricket

Me: Hmph.

Beatrice: Sorry, but not all of us can have good boyfriends, now can we?

Me: Don't you start . . .

Edward: Are we going to get to the dares or not?!

Me: Right, thanks Edward. Now where were we? The Pie-eating contest?

Edward: Me and my big mouth. . . .

Renesmee: OH YEAH! DOMINATION!  
Jacob: GO NESSIE!

Bella: Grrrr . . . .

Jacob: backs away Uh, you're not still mad about that are you, Bella? . . . Bella?

Bella: Mm. Gr.

Jacob: Okay . . .

Me: So, let's get started. WAIT THE DISCLAIMER!

waves hand

I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY EXCEPT HOPE!

Me: Okay, that's all settled. Now for the pies!

waves hand, a million pies magically appear

Me: VAMPIRES, START YOUR . . . um, MOUTHS!

Emmett: Rolls eyes

Me: Everyone's a critic. ON YOUR MARK GET SET . . . GO!!

munching slurping snarfing

Later . . .

Renesmee: YES!! I WIN!!

Jacob: WOOOOOOO NESSIE!!

Renesmee: Oh yeah! High-fives Jake.

Everyone else: Urgh . . .

Bella: I haven't felt this terrible since Renesmee was born.

Edward: I haven't felt this terrible since . . . oh wait. Never. Oh. Wait, Thinking you were dead I guess.

Emmett: I WAS THIS CLOSE TO BEATING HER! THIS CLOSE!!

Alice: Urggggggg. FACE it, Emmett, you LOST!

Emmett: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I HAVEN'T LOST SINCE BELLA BEAT ME AT ARMWRESTLING!! And, uh, by the way, I let you win.

Bella: Sure.

Carlisle: I'm really glad I didn't do that.

Jasper: Me too.

Rosalie: Passes out

Me: OK! The next dare comes from . . . stormXgirl89. The dare is for Jasper . . .

Jasper: LORD HELP ME!! falls to knees

Me: Eeeeeeeeee-yeah . . . so anyway, Jasper has to kiss Edward. The punishment: so far none . . . .

Jasper: So you're going to make one up?

Me: YOU BET!

Jasper: Just kill me now.

Emmett: REALLY??

Jasper: runs away NO NOT REALLY!

Me: Okay. I think the punishment should be having to eat nothing but human donuts for the rest of the month.

Jasper: After that show . . . looks at Rosalie, still passed out

Edward: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO KISS ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAMILY MEMBERS!! runs around in circles screaming

Some random person in Italy: Do you hear something?

Alice: Edward, shut the heck up! You're causing people in Italy to think they're hearing things!

Edward: Pantpant. Okay.

Jasper: Sorry, Edward, but . . .kisses Edward

Bella: faints again

Edward: Great. Now you have to apologize to Bella too.

Me: THAT CONCLUDES THIS SESSION OF . . . TWILIGHT DARE!! Thank you thank you!

Next time . . . MORE DARES!! I don't know what yet. PLZ REVIEW AND GIVE ME DARES!!


	4. Chapter 4

WELCOME BACK TO TWILIGHT DARE CHAPTER FOUR

**WELCOME BACK TO TWILIGHT DARE CHAPTER FOUR!!**

I am Hope, and these are my wonderful assistants Beatrice and Nick (My human boyfriend) and Joe, Beatrice's boyfriend!

Beatrice: (Huggles Joe)

Me: yeah. . . .

Beatrice: What? Joe's awesome! (Huggles)

Joe: (Huggles back)

Me: I wish I could do that to Nick . . .

Nick: You can!

Me: If I tried I'd squish you to death . . .

Nick: It would be worth it . . .

Me: Shut up.

Nick: Shutting . . .

Seth: HEY YOU TOOK MY LINE!!

Nick: Sorry.

Seth: Oh that's okay.

Emmett: CAN WE PLEASE GET TO THE DARES ALREADY??

Me: Sure. But first, remember that I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS EXCEPT HOPE!!

Everyone: We know . . .

Me: OK, just saying. First up we have something else from mandihale: _I thank you for actually including me you just made my day i was feeling so emo now i think that you should have Bella either kiss Rosalie or Jasper!_

M: You're welcome, Mandi. We try to use everyone's suggestions.

Bella: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Edward: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Me: Okay, Bella, the dare is, kiss Rosalie, or punishment, which is kiss Jasper.

Bella: Mmmmmmm . . . It has to be Jasper.

Edward: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (goes on forever)

Bella: Let's get this over with. (Kisses Jasper)

Edward: (faints)

Bella: Okay.

Jasper: Wooooooooooooooow . . .

Bella: What?

Jasper: You're a good kisser . . .

Edward: (wakes up from faint) DON'T GO HITTIN' ON MY WOMAN! (grabs Bella away)

Jasper: (backs away from angry Edward . . .) Sorry . . .

Alice: I HATE YOU!! (slaps Jasper)

Jasper: OW!

Edward: Cool it, Alice. He only meant that Bella was a good kisser, not anything else.  
Alice: (close to tears) HOW DO YOU KNOW??

Edward: (points to head) Remember?

Alice: Oh yeah.

Me: OKAY! Let's move on!

Renesmee: SOMEONE DARE ME TO DO SOMETHING!!

Me: Sorry, Nessie, no dares for you now.

Renesmee: Aw man.

Me: The next one comes from Arianna Cullen: _i'm currently a vegitarian nomad. i'm edward's sister who's older by one year exactly. you can borrow me for a few ideas if you need some one else in this fanfiction. i dare every one to not touch their mate for a week. :( sadly this effects me as well since Seth imprinted on me but i will deal with it to torture everyone else. the punishment will be as follows for the one or ones who touch there mate: bella and jasper 'sleep' together, alice and edward 'sleep' together, esme and emmett 'sleep together, leah and carlisle 'sleep' together, me and jake 'sleep' together (ick!) and rose aand seth 'sleep' together. sorry i type so much!_

Beatrice: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! I WANT TO DO PUNISHMENT!! (Huggles Joe really tightly)

Joe: YOUCH!

Beatrice: Oh, sorry. (Quick put Joe down)

Joe: That's okay. It was (flexes shoulder painfully) a good kind of pain.

Beatrice: (nervous sound)

Seth: I IMPRINTED ON HER?? WHEN??

Me: Okay. Arianna also wants advice on her middle name: She says, _also can you help me figure out a __middle name__ that would have been used about the year 1900 to go with the rest of my name? my name is Arianna (insert middle name here) Mason Cullen (and eventually) Clearwater._

Me: So comment on what you think it should be and I'll post it! Then Arianna will pick the one she likes best and comment on that and I'll post it! So everyone will know she found a middle name! Good luck, Arianna!

Me: So . . .

Jasper: Uh, wait . . . does 'sleep' together mean what I think it means?

Rosalie: I think I'm going to be sick.

Emmett: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Wait . . . . ewwwwwwwwwwwww! I don't want to have to 'sleep' with Esme!

Esme: You think I feel any differently!

Emmett: Hey! I can—Oops. (Blushes)

Edward: (cringes) Geez Emmett Your thoughts should be rated R!

Emmett: I know.

Me: So . . . Who's for punishment and who's for the dare?

Rosalie: I'll be for the dare.

Emmett: Same here.

Jasper: I'll be for the punishment.

Bella: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Edward: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Alice: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Bella: I guess I have to be in for the punishment too. I could never go for a week without touching Edward (shivers)

Alice: I don't care. I'll do the dare.

Edward: PUNISHMENT ALL THE WAY!

Carlisle: Dare.

Esme: Dare.

Me: (Looks at Beatrice)

Beatrice: What? You don't expect ME to do the dare, do you??

Me: Yes, I expect you to take part!

Beatrice: Well, then you and Nick have to participate too!

Me: Fine. What are you going to do?

Beatrice: Uhh . . . I have to say punishment.

Joe: Same here.

Nick: Punishment.

Me: Dare.

Nick: WHAT??  
Me: It'll do you good to go without bruises for a week, Nick!

Nick: There's life without bruises??

Me: I rest my case.

Nick: Fine. I guess I'll do the dare too.

Seth: I have to say dare since I don't have a mate . . .even though Arianna claimed I imprinted on her. I might've in her FanFiction . . . I can't keep track of what I do in different fanfictions.

Me: okay.

Jake: Not touching Renesmee for one week vs. (ahem) with one random person.

Me: Yup.

Jake: Punishment.

Me: Okay! For the 'sleeping' thing (ahem) we have: Jasper, Bella, Edward, Jake, Joe, and Beatrice.

Although we have even numbers, four are boys, so . . .

Joe/Jake/Edward/Jasper: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Me: Okay, I'll do the pairings. Jasper, Bella. Beatrice . . . .

Joe: (crosses fingers)

Me: . . . Edward. Jake, Joe, looks like you two are stuck.

Joe: DARN IT!

Jake: Can I change now?

Renesmee: Jakey-wolfy!

Me: Ew. And no. You can't change.

Jake: Darn.

Me: Okay. Since we're close to the Cullen house—(looks at Esme and Carlisle)

Esme: So long as you keep our budget under 30,000.

Me: Deal. Go to your separate places and . . . do what you need to.

(everyone goes)

Jasper: See if I give Arianna any suggestions for middle names!

Me: Join us next time for more crazy dares!

AND NOW A SNEAK PEEK AT CHAPTER FIVE!!

Emmett and Joe armwrestle!

The Cullens dare Hope, Joe, Nick and Beatrice!

Bella salsa dances!


	5. Chapter 5

I'm Hope, and this is

**I'm Hope, and this is . . . TWILIGHT DARE!!**

Once again, here we are at Twilight Dare! I'm your host Hope, with my lovely assistants Beatrice, and her boyfriend Joe—

Beatrice: YAY JOE! (Huggles)

Me: Yeah . . . and my boyfriend Nick. (He's human) YAY NICK!!

Cricket: chirpchirp

Me: Hmph.

Arianna Cullen: (magically appears) DO I HAVE ANY MIDDLE NAMES YET??

Me: Yes. I think you should be called Arianna Elizabeth Mason Cullen Clearwater.

Arianna: YAY!! (disappears)

Me: okay. NOW THE DISCLAIMER!!  
Everyone: Awwwwwww not that again!

Me: Well I have to do that otherwise peeps will sue me!

I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY EXCEPT HOPE!!

Me: Okay. Review from last time: Joe, Jake, Jasper, Bella, Edward and Beatrice went to the Cullen house to 'sleep' together. Good thing there are no human girls.

Beatrice: YAY I CAN TOUCH JOE NOW!! (huggles really hard)

Joe: OUCH! (huggles back)

Me: Okay. Now there is a dare for Joe/Emmett: ARMWRESTLING TOURNAMENT!

Joe: OH YEAH! Hey Emmett, ready to be beaten again?

Emmett: That was two against one! Any time!

Me: Okay! (drags big boulder) Here.

(Joe and Emmett position)

Me: ON YOUR MARK GET SET . . . GO!! (blows whistle)

Emmett: Urgh . . .

Joe: Ufff . . .

Emmett: I just need some time to warm up. Otherwise I would totally have beaten you by now.

Joe: Same . . . ergh . . . here.

Beatrice: GO JOE!! BEAT HIM!!

Rose: FAT CHANCE! KILL HIM EMMETT!

Beatrice: (stalks up to Rose) Are you saying that Emmett could beat Joe?

Rose: No. I'm saying that Emmett could destroy him.

Beatrice: WHY YOU-- (Fights)

Emmett: Uf . . . go Rose!

Joe: Rrrrrgh . . . go Beatrice!

Emmett: Nnnn!

Joe: Mmmmmgh!

Emmett: ARGH!

Joe: HAHAHAHA!!

(Emmett loses)

Emmett: Aw man!

Me: Joe is declared the winner!

Beatrice: WOOOOOOO JOE! (stops fighting)

Me: OKAY! Next we have a dare for--

Carlisle: Wait a sec.

Me: What?

Carlisle: Are we allowed to dare other people on this show?

Me: Um, yes.

Carlisle: Okay. I dare you to—

Me: Hey! I'm only the host!

Carlisle: But you're still on the show!

Me: Technically that's true, but—

Carlisle: Then I dare you to . . . huggle (whatever that means) Nick REALLY HARD!

Me: Is there a punishment?

Carlisle: Yes. You have to French Kiss Joe.

Beatrice: Don't you dare.

Carlisle: And Joe can't know it's a dare.

Joe: But I just heard!

Me: Sorry, Beatrice—

Carlisle: And Nick can't know it's a dare either!

Me: Sorry Beatrice . . . (flashes memory-loser thingy)

Nick: Hi Hope. What just happened?

Joe: Whoa. Killer headache.

Me: (kisses Joe)

Joe: WHAT THE—

Nick: (gasp) HOPE WHAT ARE YOU DOING??  
Me: (stops kissing Joe) Sorry. It was a dare. I made you lose your memory for the last minute so you wouldn't remember that it was a dare because that was part of the dare too.

Nick: Oh.

Joe: Oh. Nick I can see why you love Hope.

Nick: I love Hope cuz she's awesome not the way she kisses! (huggles Hope)

Me: (huggles back cautiously)

Emmett: I dare Joe to--

Me: Save it Emmett. This concludes Twilight Dare Chapter Five! Soon there will be Chapter Six if my teachers don't load me with homework.


	6. Chapter 6

**I AM BACK FOR TWILIGHT DARE NUMERO SIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Everyone: *claps*

Me: Okay, I'm Hope, here with the werewolves/vampires of TWILIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone: YAY

Beatrice: *huggles Joe*

Joe: *huggles back*

Everyone: . . .

Me: Eyeah . . . Anyway . . . DISCLAIMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I do NOT own any of the characters in this story!!!!!!! Except Hope!!!!!!!!!

Me: Now that that's out of the way . . . And sorry I haven't been writing. VERY VERY BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joe: So what kind of torture for today?

Me: First . . . Bella is going to salsa dance!!! YAY!!!

Bella: With who?

Everyone: *yells lots of different names at once so it sounds like this) Jaremetrosajaspedwararlisesmick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Carlisle.

Carlisle: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sorry, Edward!!!

Edward: That's okay.

Bella: Wait. What's the punishment???

Me: I'll make one up. Um, eat wood.

Bella: Okay, fine. Dare.

Me: Good. Go.

Bella and Carlisle: *salsa dances*

Bella/Carlisle: There. Happy now?

Me: Extremely.

Emmett: I HAVE A DARE FOR JOE!!!!!!!!!

Me: Oh boy.

Joe: *hides*

Me: What?

Emmett: Uh . . . sleep with . . . Esme—

Esme: EW!

Emmett: --and Beatrice can't know it's a dare, or don't touch Beatrice ever again.

Joe: *groans* No contest. Sorry, Beatrice.

Me: *Clicks mind-eraser thingy*

Beatrice: Whoa . . . what? Who? When? WHERE? WHYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!

Me: Yeah . . .

Joe: Sorry Beatrice, I have to go sleep with Esme.

Beatrice: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Me: Go on, Joe.

Beatrice: NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Bye.

Beatrice: *sobs*

Me: It was a dare.

Beatrice: Oh. *Stops sobbing*

Me: NEXT TIME ON TWILIGHT DARE:

Vampires eat human food!

Werewolves drink blood!!!!

GASP!!!!

Please send in dares!!! Running dangerously low!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**OKAY DOKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am HOPE—YAY—AND I AM BACK AGAIN! For . . . TWILIGHT DARE #7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for all your support and I have more time this time so I can make it longer!!!!**

Emmett: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Me: …

Everyone: Okay . . .

Me: So, as promised—

Beatrice: WAIT! WHAT ABOUT THE DISCLAIMER?!

Me: Oh, right! Thanks, Beatrice.

Everyone: Yeah, THANKS, Beatrice.

Beatrice: *Shrugs*

I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS EXCEPT HOPE!!!!!

Me: Okay. As I was saying. As promised, the vampires will be eating human food and the werewolves drinking blood.

Vampires: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Werewolves: EWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Me: . . .

Beatrice: Does that include us?

Me: Sure, whatever.

Joe: That means you have to eat food too.

Me: Dang! Okay, fine. It's time I did a dare anyway. *Snaps fingers: Food and blood appear*

Me: Teams: Vampires vs. Werewolves! Go as long as you can! The table and cups will refill themselves.

Emmett: All right! (Ew)

Me: ON YOUR MARK—

Jacob: WAIT!

Me: What?

Jacob: What about Renesmee?

Renesmee: Yeah, what do I do?

Me: Cheer the team of your choice.

Renesmee: All right! Wait . . .

Me: WHAT?

Renesmee: My mom and dad are on one team and Jake's on another. WHO DO I ROOT FOR???

Me: That's your problem.

Renesmee: *Whimpers and bites nails*

Me: ON YOUR MARK, GET SET . . . .GOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Vampires: Munch snarf gulp chomp chew. Ew . . .

Wolves: Glug glug glug glug. Blech . . .

*Goes on for a while*

Emmett: Okay, that's it. I'm finished.

Everyone: Yeah, me too.

Werewolves: Ewww, yeah.

Me: Ugh . . . (Goes into bushes, hears retching)

Everyone: . . .

Me: (Comes out of bushes) Well I feel much better.

Everyone: Ew . . .

Me: ONTO THE NEXT DARE!!!!!!!!!

Edward: Ouch, Jasper.

Jasper: WHAT???

Me: *Cackles evilly*

Jasper: *Gulp*

Me: Another one from Arianna! WELCOME BACK!!! Jasper, spend one month in a psychiatric ward.

Jasper: Ouch. I sense a headache coming on.

Me: Punishment: Pretend to be a girl.

Jasper: PUNISHMENT!

Me: . . . For a year.

Jasper: Uh uh uh uh uh . . . (Whimpers and flops hands around, turning around in a panic) I DON'T KNOW!!!!

Alice: Do the psychiatric ward. I don't want to be scarred for life.

Jasper: But I might be scarred for life if I go there!

Alice: Aww, c'mon. Do it for me? *Kisses Jasper*

Jasper: *Sways* Wow. Okay.

Me: *Snaps fingers. Jasper disappears*

Beatrice: *Looks at watch* Three . . . Two . . . One . . .

*Faraway scream*

Me: Well. This concludes Twilight Dare 7! Tune in next time for:

-Jacob is Arianna's slave!

-Nessie sleeps with someone!

-The guys poledance!


	8. Chapter 8

**WELL SINCE I AM ABSOLUTELY LOADED DOWN WITH REQUESTS AND COMMENTS AND DARES . . . **

Me: HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone: …

Me: I AM HOPE!!!!!!!!!

Everyone: … we know …

*cricket*

Me: Gr. So I'm back for TWILIGHT DARE NUMBER EIGHT! Keep in mind I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS OR TWILIGHT SO PLZ DO NOT SUE ME!!!!!!!!!!!! And also, I can't do every dare I get, so yes. Because I want to make the dares FULL LENGTH and AWESOME!!! So we can do more INTERNAL PAIN!!! HAHAHAHAH!

Emmett: Okay, now I'm scared.

Carlisle: …yeah…

Me: *cackles*

Me: Anyway . . . first dare . . . is for (draws dare out of hat) drumroll please . . . . JACOB!!!

Jacob: Oh snap.

Me: You got that right! Arianna sent this in again. Here are her exact words . . .

_Jacob: Be my slave for a month.  
Punishment: Never touch Nessie again._

_*evil grin* this will be fun... as a job being my slave jacob will have to  
build a monument in my honor, carry allmy bags when i go shopping (i buy more  
then alice usually does),date a random male hobo for a week, and kiss said  
hobo at least 10 times._

Jacob: Oh, SNAP!!! SNAP SNAP SNAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

Me: Heh heh . . .

Rosalie: HA! INTERNAL PAIN, MUTT! FEEL THE BURN!!!

Jacob: Has to be the slave.

Nessie: Whew. I was nervous there for a sec.

Jacob: Wish me luck. Hope . . . (Turns to me) If I died, it WOULD make this less interesting, right?

Me: I guess.

Jacob: So you won't let me die . . . will you?

Me: No. Also because I kind of have a crush on you, but whatever.

Jacob: I'm going to pretend I never heard that. (Vanishes)

Alice: Three, two—

(Faraway scream)

Me: I'm going to ask Arianna to keep us posted about the whereabouts and various tortures of Jacob Black for Rosalie's entertainment.

Rosalie: WHOO HOO! DREAM COMING TRUE!

Me: Anyway . . . Now is a dare for Nessie!

Nessie: YAY FINALLY!!!!

Me: Okay . . . here we go. From Twilight Rose Cullen. Nessie to sleep with Jasper. Punishment: Sleep with Emmett.

Nessie: What kind of sleep?

Me: The *ahem* sleep.

Nessie: Oh snap.

Bella: But we don't know if she can get pregnant.

Me: Risk you gotta take, sorry. Who's it gonna be?

Nessie: Emmett. I would pick him anyway, even if Jasper WAS here.

Emmett: Cool. TO THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Vanishes with Nessie*

Me: Okay . . . bad picture in my head.

Everyone: . . . . . . . OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT PICTURE, HOPE!

Me: Geez, sorry. I only said that was a bad picture! Next up . . . one of the guys poledances! Since the only guy here is Carlisle . . .oh wait, and Edward . . .and Seth. But I think it's only for the vampires. Oh, that includes Joe too.

Joe: Ew.

Beatrice: *Huggles Joe*

Me: It's from Angel of Apathy, and the punishment is only going on herbivore blood for a month.

Carlisle: Punishment.

Edward: Punishment.  
Joe: . . . . . . . .

Everyone: *Waits*

Joe: ………………………………………………………..

Me: MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALL READY!!!!!!!!!!

Joe: FINE! Dare.

*I snap fingers; pole appears*

Me: Do whacha need to and I'll tell you when to stop.

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: AM I DONE YET???  
Me: Not by far.

Beatrice: This is scarring me for life.

Me: Me too, but it's amusing somehow. Plus, he's really good.

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Joe: *Pole dances*

Me: That's good.

Joe: Collapses from exhaustion*

Me: That's it for this time. Join us next time for TWILIGHT DARE!!!! No sneak peek this time, sorry, it's a SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!


	9. Chapter 9

**I AM BACK!!!!**

**Again. Yay.**

Hello! I am Hope—

Everyone: WE KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Fine then. Let's get right to the dares. Because once again, I am still completely piled under them. But thanks for all the suggestions! I fell over laughing more than once while reading them! DISCLAIMER (please don't sue me!!!): I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS EXCEPT HOPE!!!! I WISH I could own them but I don't. Darn.

Stephenie Meyer: *appears* YES THEYARE MINE!!!!!

Me: *sighs*

Carlisle: Who the heck is SHE?

Me: She's the person who created you, idiot.

Carlisle: SHE'S A VAMPIRE?

Me: NO! She wrote a book called TWILIGHT that you are all characters in. Everyone thinks you don't exist and that this is fictional, but I KNOW OTHERWISE!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Stephenie Meyer: *vanishes*

Me: First of all, let's check in with Arianna to see how Jacob is!

_jacob's answering machine (i'm the one speaking): jacob is currently unable  
to speak to you because he is buried under 25 feet of shopping bags. please  
call again later._

he he. jacob is going to build my 15 ft monument soon. then we are going to  
find the perfect hobo since we are temporarily done shopping. and i'm glad to  
help you torture the mongrel, rosalie. in fact, if torturing wasn't so fun he  
would be dead by now...

i just want to tell someone... this weekend my dad was going to take me to my  
mom (they're devorced) but we got in a _car accident__ on the way. no one washurt  
but it scared 5 years off my life. on a happier subject, you're doing great  
with this!_

Me: SOUNDS SCARY! I've never been in a car crash, I hope I never am . . . . But funny torturing, even though Jacob isn't that bad in my eyes. Yeah. Oh! Whoops. Another one . . . :

_i forgot to mention in my last review: i and my slave themutt we're shopping  
in california since it had a couple cloudy days. now we're of to volterra so i  
can take over and then get my monument in place... well, i've got to go yell  
at the dog. bye!_

Me: Cool. And thank you for saying I'm doing a good job. I love writing this and since my dad is not here to help me study for my math exam, I can WRITE THIS!!! YAY!

Everyone: …

Nick: *huggles me*

Me: Thank you, Nick.

Nick: You're welcome, love of my life.  
Me: Aww, how sweet.

Nick: I know—

Edward: JUST GET ON WITH THE DARES!

Me: I will.

Edward: Crud. HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY???

Me: Nope. First up—

*Nessie and Emmett appear laughing their heads off*

Me: Uh . . . .

Everyone: *Uncomfortable*

Me: . . . .

Beatrice: Heh heh . . . .

Me: Oooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay . . . .

Nessie: Oh, that was funny.

*My cell rings*

Me: Hello?

. . . . . . . *me listening to phone, you faintly hear screeching*

Me: *Holds out phone to Nessie* It's for you.

Nessie: *Cautiously takes phone* Hello . . .?

*Muffled shouting*

Nessie: Well, I'm sorry! It was a dare! I still love you! I don't think so . . . . yeah . . . . No! It was a joke he told me!

Everyone: *Glances at each other*

Nessie: Well—NO! You WOULDN'T!

*Pause*

Nessie: Oh. Okay, sorry. Yes. Love you, too. Bye.

*Snaps phone shut, gives it back to me*

Me: Okay, then. Next dare is for . . . . *pulls dare out of hat* EMMETT! Oh. And . . . . JASPER!!!!

*I snap my fingers, Jasper appears*

Jasper: *Panting crazily* Mommy? MOMMY?! AUGH!!!! *runs around screaming*

Me: …..

Everyone: Okay . . .  
Carlisle: Don't worry. It's just a side affect of when people are feeling really strong emotions. Some of the emotions are projected onto him.

Me: Ouch.

Jasper: Whouh, wha-waa *mutters incoherently*

…….

Jasper: *muttering fades* Hey, wha—I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! *Leaps around clapping hands excitedly* YESSSSSSSSSSSS!

Me: Value it while it lasts.

Jasper: *Freezes in mid-joy-leap* What?

Me: It's only for another dare, for a few minutes.

Jasper: DANG IT!!!!

Me: The dare? It is from Abby Hemlock of Forks, her, her sisters, her older sister's mate, and her mate, Mike, live together, they are vegetarians, but she slips a lot. She dares Jasper and Emmett to pretend they are gay and having an affair for a week. And Alice and Rosalie can't know it's a dare.

Emmett: *Cautiously* What's the punishment?

Me: That's my favorite part!!!! Emmett, be Joe's slave for a year. Jasper has to wear a ballet dress and run around the mall screaming "I'M A PRETTY PRINCESS!" And wear the dress for a week.

Jasper: PUNISHMENT. It will keep me out of the psychiatric ward for a little while.

Me: You'll have to do the last two weeks later, though.

Jasper: I know. Unfortunately.

Emmett: Punishment. I do NOT want to pretend I'm having an affair. Especially with Jasper.

Joe: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *cackles*

Carlisle: Sorry, Emmett. Ouch.

Emmett: Okay, I'm scared.

Joe: Come on! *Grabs Emmett's wrist and both vanish*

Alice: Three—

*Faraway scream*

Alice: Wow. I didn't forsee Joe making him make out with a tree in the middle of the middle of the mall.

Everyone: …Poor Emmett …

Me: Jasper, you know what to do. *Pulls out ballet dress, duct tape, and a video camera*

Jasper: I have a bad feeling about this . . .

*TEN MINUTES LATER*

Jasper: *Dressed in ballet dress, with a video camera duct taped to his head* What's the plan again?

Me: You run through the mall, screaming "I'M A PRETTY PRINCESS". *Locks bracelet onto Jasper's wrist* If you stop, I will shock you with this bracelet. I will call you *Hands Jasper cell phone* when you can stop. I will know, because the video camera will be transmitting live feed onto this television *Points to T.V.*

Jasper: Here I go.

Me: Good luck *I snap my fingers and Jasper vanishes*

Everyone: *watches the T.V.*

Jasper: *Starts running*

Jasper: I'M A PRETTY PRINCESS I'M A PRETTY PRINCESS I'M A PRETTY PRINCESS I'M A PRETTY PRINCESS I'M A PRETTY PRINCESS I'M A PRETTY PRINCESS I'M A PRETTY PRINCESS I'M A PRETTY PRINCESS I'M A PRETTY PRINCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Keeps going for exactly 42,000 minutes. Equal to 700 hours. Equal to 29.1666667 days. So about a month.*

Me: Okay, you can stop.

Jasper: *Collapses from exhaustion*

Me: OKAY! *Snaps fingers, Jasper re-appears* *Snaps fingers again, Jasper is back in his clothes*

Me: OFF TO THE PSYCIATRIC WARD WITH YOU!!!!

Jasper: NOOOOOOOOOO! Please, I BEG OF YOU!!!!!!

Me: *Snaps fingers, Jasper disappears*

Me: Okay, next dare. It is for . . . Carlisle.

Carlisle: Dang it.

Me: I'm really sorry, Carlisle. Really, I am. But I use everyone's dares. Nothing personal, or anything, I mean, you ARE my favorite character.

Carlisle: Oh, thanks, Hope.

Me: You're welcome. You're just so cool, because you can completely resist the smell of human blood, but that's the problem.

Carlisle: What …?

Me: That's the dare, from BB, is for you to drink human blood. It didn't come with a punishment, so we have to make one up . . . .

Carlisle: Oh, Lord.

Me: How about . . . bite Billy Black!

Carlisle: Snap. I has to be the … *gulps* dare.

Me: It doesn't specify how much human blood, so I'm going to say about a gallon.

Carlisle: Okay. I'll go get some blood reserves from the hospital.

Me: I'm not sure I want to watch this *Carlisle vanishes*.

Edward: Join the club. We have stickers.

Beatrice: REALLY?!

Edward: No. But I really don't want to watch that. The man who I respect like a father and who taught me not to drink human blood, forced to drink human blood?! No thanks!

NEXT TIME!!! CARLISLE DRINKS HUMAN BLOOD!


	10. Chapter 10

**WOOO! DARE #10!!!**

Me: GIVE IT UP FOR DARE NUMERO TEN!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSS!

Me: DISCLAI—

Jake: ARGH!!! WHAT'S UP WITH THE STUPID DISCLAIMER?!

Me: Well, do you WANT peeps to sue me?

Alice: What would the consequences be?

Me: I wouldn't be able to write FanFictions anymore.

Everyone: THEN YES!!!

Me: Oh, by the way! An update from Joe!!

_Hi guys back at the Twilight Dare place (wherever that is)! I have been having much fun torturing Emmett. At the moment he is being forced to make out with a lesbian who finds him extremely hot—_

Rosalie: Um, who _wouldn't?_

_I have devised other methods of torturing and slavery. I will send you a video clip as soon as I can. Happily, Joe. Oh, P.S. Beatrice, I love you. If anyone does anything to hurt you, I will kill them. Luv you!!_

Beatrice: *Huggles herself happily*

Me: Anyway, here's an update from Ariana!

_he he. the volturi no longer exist (with the exception of alec since he's my  
mate). jacob built my monument. now we're off to find the perfect hobo. to new  
york! (jacob is silent) jacob! *kicks* (jacob: ) ow! what was that for? (me: )  
*sigh* let's start over. to new york! (jacob: oh) and away!_

Me: YAY! NO MORE VOLTURI!!!

Bella: Thank God! *Hugs Renesmee*

Renesmee: MOM! Gerroff!

Me: Anyway—

*Carlisle appears with human blood*

Me: Oh, hi, Carlisle. Look, I _really _am sorry. You are just so freaking awesome, but you have to do this. Sorry.

Carlisle: *Sighs heavily* I know, Hope. I'm sorry too.

Beatrice: *Jumps up and down randomly* OH OH OH! My favorite character is EMMETT! He's so funny!

Rosalie: *Growls*

Beatrice: God, Rose. Back down. I just said he was funny. I have a boyfriend.

Rose: Fine.

Nick: I really do NOT want to see this ….

Me: Seriously, I don't either. Oh wells.

Carlisle: *Sighs* Bottoms up.

Carlisle: *Drinks human blood*

Me: Ohhhhhhh ….

Edward: Ouch.

Carlisle: *Finishes, breathes heavily*

Me: Are you okay?

Carlisle: Yes, I'm fine. *Faints*

Me: ……..Um……..Is this normal?

Edward: He's just shocked.

Me: Um, okay. Anyway, next dare is---WAIT!

Everyone: What?

Me: Happily! Jasper's punishment is FINITE!!!! *I snap my fingers and Jasper appears, clothes ripped and crazy-looking*

Jasper: AWAYAUTFUSITIL!!!! GET AWAY!!!!!! *Flaps hand crazily and then chomps empty air with his teeth*

Me: While we wait for Jasper to become saner, the next dare is for Leah, Seth and Jacob. They have to live in the Cullen house (Vampire smell and all) for a month. And also, Alice, Rosalie and Esme have to live in the Black house for a month.

Rosalie: Oh, yuck!

Alice: Aw, man! What's the punishment??

Me: It says to make one up. This is from J'adore lire, by the way. Beatrice, you can help me.

Beatrice: YAY!

*Beatrice and I huddle, quietly whispering ideas for punishments*

Everyone: *Worried glances*

Me: Okay!

*Beatrice and I straighten up*

Beatrice: The punishment is that each vampire and werewolf have to put their nose right up to the opposite (Vampire sniffs werewolf, werewolf sniffs vampire) and take a ten-second inhale.

Everyone: WHAT?!

Hope: Yup. Okay, who's for the dare and who's for the punishment??

Leah: Punishment.

Alice: Punishment.

Me: Is everyone for the punishment??

Everyone: *Nods*

Me: Well, that's no fun. Okay, fine. Everyone, pick a partner!

*Everyone runs around crazily, eventually ending up that Seth is paired with Alice, Leah with Esme and Jacob with Rosalie.*

Me: Now position your nose so that it is touching the top of the other per—vampire or werewolf's hair and inhale. Ready? GO!

Everyone: *Inhales*

Me: *Holds stopwatch* Tick, tock, tick, tock…

*Ten seconds later…*

Me: And . . .done!

Everyone: *Falls to the ground gasping*

Me: Wimps.

Jasper: *Stands up* What'd I miss?

Me: Oh, not much.

Jasper: Okay.

Me: The next dare is for . . . Ooh, ouch, Jazz.

Jasper: What?! DO I HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE PSYCHIATRIC WARD!

Me: Ah, no.

Jasper: Good.

Me: But you do have to volunteer at Emotional Therapy.

Jasper: WHAT?!

Me: Unless you don't wanna see Alice for a year.

Jasper: Oh, FINE!

Me: But there is a loophole.

Jasper: WHAT?!

Me: Well, it doesn't say how LONG you have to volunteer.

Jasper: OH HAPPY DAY!

Me: So we'll make it two hours, since you just got back from the ward.

Jasper: THANK YOU!

Me: Okay, we're gonna tape a video camera to your head again!

Jasper: Why?

Me: So we can watch the fun! Who has popcorn??

Jasper: Oh, yeah. That makes me feel a TON better.

Me: You're welcome.

*I tape the video camera to Jasper's head*

Me: Now, we'll be watching. Good luck!

*Jasper goes to Emotional Therapy*

Suicidal Girl: *Sobs loudly* I just don't know what to do! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'm so miserable! No one likes me!

*The camera tilts and falls to the floor*

Alice: Looks like he fainted.

Me: You say that so calmly.

Alice: Not like it hasn't happened before.

Me: Okey-doke, well, we have to proceed to the next dares. The Jasper-Cam will still be going if anyone else wants to watch it if they're not being dared. This is also from J'adore lire. It says to make Rosalie sleep with Seth and Leah sleep with Emmett.

Rosalie: GROSS GROSS GROSS!

Seth: What's the punishment?

Me: Leah and Rose sleep together, and Seth and Emmett sleep together.

Seth: Oh, God. Dare.

Rosalie: Why do I always get these? Dare.

*I snap my fingers and Emmett appears*

Emmett: All right, all right, I'm getting the shoe polish. You know, you could let me take a shower every once in a—Wha—I'm free! Free from that idiot Joe! *Dances around happily*

Beatrice: *Growls*

Me: You've been called back for another dare.

Emmett: Well, that's still enough for me. What kind of dare?

Me: You have to sleep with Leah.

Emmett: Really. Finally I get some action! After like six months of slavery.

Leah: Let's not make this more painful than it has to be.

Me: Yes, let's. So. *Looks at Carlisle and Esme*

Carlisle: Go ahead, use the house.

Me: Thank you. *Turns back to other people* Go ahead, use the house.

*Seth, Rose, Leah and Emmett appear in the Cullen house*

Me: Let's try not to think about what they're doing.

Edward: Yes, please.

Alice: *Giggle*

Edward: Alice! Stop THINKING that!

Alice: Sorry.

Me: The next dare is for . . . Bella and Edward!

Edward: Oh, so it's ME who gets punished, not ALICE for thinking THOSE THINGS.

Bella: Calm down, Edward. *Soothingly rubs Edward's shoulders*

Everyone: …

Bella: *Looks at us and whispers* He's been emotional lately.

Everyone: Ohhhhhh.

Edward: *Deep breaths*

Me: Um, okay. The dare is that Edward and Bella must go 1 ½ months on human food.

Bella: *Leans over to be sick in bushes*

Everyone: Ewwww!

Me: And the punishment is something to do with Nessie. I'm supposed to make it up again.

Beatrice: Ooh, ooh, they can't talk to her for a year!

Me: Perfect.

Bella and Edward: *Look at each other* Dare!

Me: Awesome. *Snaps fingers and human food appears* Now, whenever you get thirsty just nom nom nom on this!

Jasper: Translation: Eat that for the next 1 ½ months.

Bella and Edward: Great.

*Seth, Rose, Leah and Emmett re-appear*

Me: Glad you're back. Please take your seats. No comments about where you just were, please.

Edward: PLEASE.

Me: I can tell enough by that grin on your face, Emmett.

Emmett: Hee hee.

Me: The next dare is from bekeyboo. She has a dare for EVERYONE. Sadly, no punishments. So you must all do the dares whether you want to or not.

Everyone: *Groans*

Me: Okay, let's start with Bella!

Bella: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Me: Bite, then suck out the venom, for Charlie.

Bella: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Me: Ouch.

*Snaps fingers: Charlie appears*

Charlie: Wh—Who—Wh—Why am I here? And how did I get here?

Bella: *Sigh* Here goes.

*Bites Charlie*

Charlie: Ouch! Why'd you do that?

Bella: *Quickly sucks out venom.*

Charlie: What the—

Me: *Snaps fingers again: Charlie vanishes*

Bella: *Falls sobbing into Edward's arms*

Edward: *Glares at me*

Me: Well, sorry. In the meantime, I think we have time for at least one more dare, maybe two if we're lucky.

Jacob: Yeah. If we're LUCKY.

Me: Okay, this one's for Edward.

Edward: Oh, joy.

Me: Go to a ward of suicidal people and read their thoughts.

Edward: Can I just go to emotional therapy? I can keep Jasper company.

Me: *Sighs* I suppose so.

Edward: *Vanishes*

Me: Okay, he's there. And he'll be there until Jasper gets back, which will be at the end of this dare session. Yay!

Everyone: . . .. Happy . . .

Me: The next dare will be for Alice. Alice, you must go to Volterra and tell the Volturi how you feel about them.

Alice: Oh, great. But, um, aren't the Volturi no longer in existence?

Carlisle: They'll be back. Nothing can hold them down.

Me: Just go.

Alice: All right. *Goes to Volterra*

Alice: *Screams* I HATE YOU, VOLTURI! YOU'RE THE WORST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO THE EARTH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*Runs for her life back to the Twilight Dare place*

Alice: *Panting* Oh, thank God. They didn't catch me!

Me: Great! That concludes this session of Twilight Dare. Tune in next time!

*Edward and Jasper re-appear*

Jasper: GOGESULIEUNTAN!

Edward: C-c-can't . . . s-s-s-s-s-survive . . . . emo . . . THEY'RE COMING TO GET ME!

Me: And hopefully next time, these two *Taps Edward and Jasper on the head, Edward leaps into the air* will be saner.


End file.
